Tips On How To Get Along With People

It isn’t easy trying to get along with people. Everybody is different and no two individuals are unique. If you put two people together in a dome for a month, they will most likely wind up getting at each other’s throats.

In this article, we will talk about a few tips on how you can achieve true tranquility in human relationships.

People are only human. Don’t expect too much from them and you will be able to love your friends more. If you expect too much from them, you will strain the friendship and you will not get what you want in the end (albeit temporarily but it is not advisable to strain the friendship)

We mustn’t take ourselves too seriously either. When we are too critical of ourselves, chances are, we will be extremely critical of other people. We can’t measure others with the yardstick which we use to measure ourselves with.

You can also learn to stop blaming others for your problems. They are not responsible for your happiness. If you keep on blaming others, you will never take responsibility towards your friendships and you will sit down and wonder why everyone has abandoned you.

Learn to say “NO” sometimes. Be assertive about the NO without over-reacting or hurting others in the process. The easiest way to go insane is to try and be everything to everyone.

Hug people often. I don’t care what culture or family background you are from. When you hug people, it’s therapeutic. When you hug people, your body releases endorphins that will give you a good feeling so make sure you find someone you can regularly hug with.

Do NOT humiliate people in public. People can get beaten up physically and still look heroic but when you make someone ‘lose face’, you strip their ego naked and they will hate you for life.

Don’t jump to conclusions. Clarify everything by asking questions first or else you will hurt people’s feelings.

Learn the value of compliments. It is free to give out and it heals our souls in many ways. It is good to feel validated by others because we all need to feed our egos sometimes.

When you give, don’t make the mistake of telling others the ‘cost’ of your ‘gift’. It’s like saying, “Happy birthday, dear! P.S. Your diamond ring costs me $5,000 and I hope you appreciate it!” No strings attached please!

Don’t wait too long to tell someone you love them. They could be dead before you have the chance.

God gave us two ears and one mouth. So make sure you listen twice as much and speak only half as much – not the other way.

MakingFriendConnection.com

Why Do People Lie?

Human beings are liars. They lie all the time directly or insipiently. A white lie is still a lie. Exaggeration is a lie because it stretches the truth to insurmountable proportions.

If you want to get along with people is not to expose the lies they say. Some people like to have total honesty in a friendship and that isn’t a bad thing. The problem is they don’t realize that due to the nature of human beings, lying comes so naturally that people get offended by it and it leads to trouble.

We must ‘give face’ to others and learn to live and let live.

Here are a few reasons why men and women lie.

When you go to a social gathering, you will notice people making new friends and talking to one another.

One thing you will notice about human behavior is that they will tend to exaggerate about what they are doing. You will hear about tales of grandeur and sometimes, you may feel sick about it. Sometimes, you will hear them brag about the craziest things! They may talk about their careers, their children’s accomplishments, their traveling adventures, or even what their dog did in the afternoon! You will see all kinds of fancy tales of exaggeration everywhere!

I’m not saying that they are condemned, outright liars, but it is actually quite natural for people, especially men to ‘lie’ a little about their accomplishments.

If you want to make friends, allow them to tell their little stories, but make sure you take it with a pinch of salt. After all, we don’t want to burst their bubble and make enemies now, do we?

You see, in life, we must learn to give and take. Even when it is outside of a party and inside the home or with your friends, this behavior will always be around. People just don’t want to look bad in front of other people (unless they have low self-esteem and even then, it is not about humility but merely showing others what a hero they are because of their sufferings!)

Let people be and you will be able to have many friends (after all, when you lend them a listening ear to their tales, you are – being a friend).

Know this… Men will generally lie – to make themselves look better. Women on the other hand will generally lie – to make the other party feel better.

Once you recognize this fact, you will be able to get along with others with a proper perspective.

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Why You Must Never Complain, Criticize Nor Condemn

The power of the tongue holds the key to life and death. You can give life to someone by saying nice things to them or you can ‘kill’ someone or their dreams by saying many negative or nasty things to them. If you want to make friends and keep them, you must master this skill today!

Here is a shocking truth. There is no such thing as constructive criticism. It is an oxymoron. (Something like calling a square round)

There is no way you can constructively criticize someone when the purpose of criticism is to tear someone down – and we all know how fragile human egos are.

Did you know that an average child hears the word “NO” 17 times for every YES that they hear? We are used to listening to our parents who tells us that, “No, you can’t have your ice cream” or “NO, you are not smart enough, stupid…”

It’s no a surprise why kids grow up without believing in themselves because their parents do not believe in them in the first place! They grow up in a negative environment where people complain, criticize and condemn all day!

When you complain about others, you attract a negative force field that attracts more negative emotions. When two people get together, this force field becomes stronger and very soon, even good things will turn into bad things because of the words we say.

Here is another golden rule about making friends and keeping them:

When talking to a friend about another friend who is absent, make sure you tell your friend things that the absent party will not feel uncomfortable about. Here are a few reasons why:

You generate the negative force field once again. And that’s not all, when you talk bad about someone, people become fault finding and their disposition doesn’t help in building up another person. When you talk bad about someone behind your back, the person whom you are talking too will wonder in their hearts, “Would YOU be talking bad about me as well when I’m not around?” It only builds distrust.

If the absent party finds out, you could be in deep trouble and that would even compromise your integrity if secrets are spilled. The worst thing that can happen is having your reputation destroyed. It also makes you feel self-righteous because there is a tendency for people to feel themselves taller when they take others down a peg or two.

Gossip distorts the things you say and eventually, you will be labeled as a culprit for something you didn’t do. If you are tempted to gossip about someone, ask yourself, how would YOU feel if you are on the receiving end?

So please be wise how you choose to use your words and you will have more friends at the end of the day.

makingfriendconnection.com

Why Handling Your Tongue With Care Is Important

Did you know that words have the power to hurt as well as the power to heal? It a very striking fact! When you take a look at children who are physically abused, you tend to be more sympathetic because of the wounds on the flesh. Unfortunately, words have the same scarring effect as well. You may not notice the wounds because they don’t exist on the surface, but the searing pain remains in a child’s heart as verbal abuse is equally if not more deadly than physical abuse.

Wounds on the body may heal, but unkind words may cause permanent damage that will last a lifetime if we are not careful with what we say.

Even among adults, hurtful words are remembered and buried within a hurting heart and some individuals take those words all the way to the grave.

As a result, we must carefully examine the uses of the tongue. If you want to make friends and keep them in the long run, often you may have to control your tongue. Ironically, the most important things you must do when working with your tongue is to leave many unkind words unsaid. That is all you need to do at times.

You have a powerful tool in your hand. It is up to you how you want to use your tongue to edify others or take others down. Do you complain, criticize and condemn? Do you say things that do not edify people?

If you get into an argument with a friend, make sure you stick to the issue at hand and never resort to character assassination or name calling. Name calling actually sears a wound on a person’s soul and they will remember that with clarity even more so than any other thing. Please avoid name calling at ALL costs!

Here is a good way to use your tongue… you must learn to compliment people everyday. Practice saying 1 compliment to 5 different people everyday. It could be your spouse, your parent, your co-workers, your boss or even the cleaning lady in the company! Compliments are free and it offers a great healing power that many fail to utilize.

I’m very sure that you could use some compliments as well!

Words are like deeds – do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

makingfriendconnection.com

The Importance Of Trust And Integrity

Friendship is such a fragile thing. As a matter of fact, if you take a good look at trust and integrity, it might take a lifetime to build it but only seconds to destroy it. It is even more fragile than a glass. Friendships are usually tied closely with it.

Having real trust and true integrity in friendship could mean a lot of things:

It could mean keeping your promises at all costs. It could mean sticking to your principles no matter what circumstances you are in. It could mean making a lot of sacrifices. It could also mean that you have to do what is right even if it could cost you!

Trust and integrity are one of the most important things you must have when making friends and keeping them in the long run.

Most people may tend to make assumption on you, for example:

“Andy? Yeah he’s a fine dude, really nice chap…”

“Hmm, Andy, quite a slacker actually… can’t rely on him to do anything”

“Andy is one tough dude. He is a good friend who would stick to his guns and do the right thing. And he will always be there for his friends”

Chances are, YOU are the Andy that people would sum up. Which of those comments would you like to fall under?

Having integrity is one key factor to living well with others because people like things to be predictable. They don’t like people to spring up bad surprises. If you are a person with a lot of integrity, they will always count on you. You are the ‘go to’ person where people will rely on.

Be careful, however. People are rather unforgiving especially where integrity is concerned.

If you arrive early for your appointments, make sure you are always early for ALL your appointments. People will criticize you even if you arrive late only on one occasion. If you don’t buy pirated DVDs, make sure you stick to it. Don’t be wishy-washy! Hey, even crooks have integrity and they want other crooks to respect them.

At the end of the day, the key is to be consistent irregardless of what your moral values are or your way of life. Don’t change your values all the time and lose your integrity because it only confuses people.

makingfriendconnection.com

Your Emotional Bank Accounts

Have you ever wondered why life is nothing but a trading of favors or feelings? It is very true, that our lives operate like bank accounts and automatic teller machines.

Take for example: When you go to the bank, you make deposits into your bank account and you make withdrawals from your bank account. What if you keep on going to the bank daily to make withdrawals? Do you know what will happen? The Automatic Teller Machine will give you a rude retort implying that you have overdrawn!

The same applies to the people with deal with on a daily basis. You see, when someone does a favor for another, they are making an emotional deposit in the person’s heart.

On the other hand, when we act as though we are the king of the world, the only people around us who will put up with our horrendous attitude are probably the ones who are closest to you. If you continue to persist in your streak of folly, even their patience will run out.

That is tantamount to making emotional withdrawals from their hearts. People who are closest to us start with a larger bank account. After all, they have a starting balance to begin with (your mother or your father will have more tolerance for you because you are, after all, their baby boy/girl). We must be careful not to take those around us for granted. Continuous withdrawals will cause relationships to become estranged. It is like having a terrible sickness yet you just can’t die!

No doubt, a hungry man can live for a few days without food, but as the hunger demands from your empty shell, you will feel quite irritated yet you can’t make it go away (unless you ‘deposit’ some food)

We must never reach the point where all our emotional deposits run out. To put it in a metaphor, it would be a horrible thing because the ‘interest’ on overdrawn emotional bank accounts is quite expensive – in other words, it will be very, very difficult to mend a broken relationship.

Most emotionally bankrupt individuals harbor suicidal thoughts not because people refuse to love them. Their lack of love is only a symptom of a larger problem – that they did not give or deposit in the first place and therefore they won’t get any sympathy from anyone else.

It is up to you to keep on making deposits – like helping your friends, keeping in touch with them, and being there for them when they need you. Remember that making deposits might ‘cost’ you in the short run, but the ‘interest’ is worth far more in the long run.

Makingfriendconnection.com