The power of the tongue holds the key to life and death. You can give life to someone by saying nice things to them or you can ‘kill’ someone or their dreams by saying many negative or nasty things to them. If you want to make friends and keep them, you must master this skill today!
Here is a shocking truth. There is no such thing as constructive criticism. It is an oxymoron. (Something like calling a square round)
There is no way you can constructively criticize someone when the purpose of criticism is to tear someone down – and we all know how fragile human egos are.
Did you know that an average child hears the word “NO” 17 times for every YES that they hear? We are used to listening to our parents who tells us that, “No, you can’t have your ice cream” or “NO, you are not smart enough, stupid…”
It’s no a surprise why kids grow up without believing in themselves because their parents do not believe in them in the first place! They grow up in a negative environment where people complain, criticize and condemn all day!
When you complain about others, you attract a negative force field that attracts more negative emotions. When two people get together, this force field becomes stronger and very soon, even good things will turn into bad things because of the words we say.
Here is another golden rule about making friends and keeping them:
When talking to a friend about another friend who is absent, make sure you tell your friend things that the absent party will not feel uncomfortable about. Here are a few reasons why:
You generate the negative force field once again. And that’s not all, when you talk bad about someone, people become fault finding and their disposition doesn’t help in building up another person. When you talk bad about someone behind your back, the person whom you are talking too will wonder in their hearts, “Would YOU be talking bad about me as well when I’m not around?” It only builds distrust.
If the absent party finds out, you could be in deep trouble and that would even compromise your integrity if secrets are spilled. The worst thing that can happen is having your reputation destroyed. It also makes you feel self-righteous because there is a tendency for people to feel themselves taller when they take others down a peg or two.
Gossip distorts the things you say and eventually, you will be labeled as a culprit for something you didn’t do. If you are tempted to gossip about someone, ask yourself, how would YOU feel if you are on the receiving end?
So please be wise how you choose to use your words and you will have more friends at the end of the day.
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