The Importance Of Trust And Integrity

Friendship is such a fragile thing. As a matter of fact, if you take a good look at trust and integrity, it might take a lifetime to build it but only seconds to destroy it. It is even more fragile than a glass. Friendships are usually tied closely with it.

Having real trust and true integrity in friendship could mean a lot of things:

It could mean keeping your promises at all costs. It could mean sticking to your principles no matter what circumstances you are in. It could mean making a lot of sacrifices. It could also mean that you have to do what is right even if it could cost you!

Trust and integrity are one of the most important things you must have when making friends and keeping them in the long run.

Most people may tend to make assumption on you, for example:

“Andy? Yeah he’s a fine dude, really nice chap…”

“Hmm, Andy, quite a slacker actually… can’t rely on him to do anything”

“Andy is one tough dude. He is a good friend who would stick to his guns and do the right thing. And he will always be there for his friends”

Chances are, YOU are the Andy that people would sum up. Which of those comments would you like to fall under?

Having integrity is one key factor to living well with others because people like things to be predictable. They don’t like people to spring up bad surprises. If you are a person with a lot of integrity, they will always count on you. You are the ‘go to’ person where people will rely on.

Be careful, however. People are rather unforgiving especially where integrity is concerned.

If you arrive early for your appointments, make sure you are always early for ALL your appointments. People will criticize you even if you arrive late only on one occasion. If you don’t buy pirated DVDs, make sure you stick to it. Don’t be wishy-washy! Hey, even crooks have integrity and they want other crooks to respect them.

At the end of the day, the key is to be consistent irregardless of what your moral values are or your way of life. Don’t change your values all the time and lose your integrity because it only confuses people.

makingfriendconnection.com

Your Emotional Bank Accounts

Have you ever wondered why life is nothing but a trading of favors or feelings? It is very true, that our lives operate like bank accounts and automatic teller machines.

Take for example: When you go to the bank, you make deposits into your bank account and you make withdrawals from your bank account. What if you keep on going to the bank daily to make withdrawals? Do you know what will happen? The Automatic Teller Machine will give you a rude retort implying that you have overdrawn!

The same applies to the people with deal with on a daily basis. You see, when someone does a favor for another, they are making an emotional deposit in the person’s heart.

On the other hand, when we act as though we are the king of the world, the only people around us who will put up with our horrendous attitude are probably the ones who are closest to you. If you continue to persist in your streak of folly, even their patience will run out.

That is tantamount to making emotional withdrawals from their hearts. People who are closest to us start with a larger bank account. After all, they have a starting balance to begin with (your mother or your father will have more tolerance for you because you are, after all, their baby boy/girl). We must be careful not to take those around us for granted. Continuous withdrawals will cause relationships to become estranged. It is like having a terrible sickness yet you just can’t die!

No doubt, a hungry man can live for a few days without food, but as the hunger demands from your empty shell, you will feel quite irritated yet you can’t make it go away (unless you ‘deposit’ some food)

We must never reach the point where all our emotional deposits run out. To put it in a metaphor, it would be a horrible thing because the ‘interest’ on overdrawn emotional bank accounts is quite expensive – in other words, it will be very, very difficult to mend a broken relationship.

Most emotionally bankrupt individuals harbor suicidal thoughts not because people refuse to love them. Their lack of love is only a symptom of a larger problem – that they did not give or deposit in the first place and therefore they won’t get any sympathy from anyone else.

It is up to you to keep on making deposits – like helping your friends, keeping in touch with them, and being there for them when they need you. Remember that making deposits might ‘cost’ you in the short run, but the ‘interest’ is worth far more in the long run.

Makingfriendconnection.com

How To Make Friends

How To Make Friends on Howcast

Step 1: Join a group
Join a group that interests you. You could work on a political campaign, sign up for a class, do volunteer work, or become a member of a club like a hiking group

Step 2: Make the first move
Don’t be afraid to make the first move. Keep it simple, like inviting the person to grab a cup of coffee with you.

Tips: In the beginning, don’t call or email your new acquaintance more than he or she does you. You want to be a pal, not a pain.

Step 3: Be interested
Focus on being interested, rather than being interesting. Research shows that when people are allowed to talk mostly about themselves, they give high ratings to their conversation partner!

Step 4: Do a favor
Listen with an ear toward what you can do for the person you’d like to befriend. Doing someone a favor—without being asked—will fast-track the friendship.

Tips : Don’t be afraid to reach out to old friends who have faded from your life. Sometimes a renewed friendship is the most rewarding of all.

Step 5: Throw a party
Throw a party that includes all your friends, old and new, and encourage them to bring friends. As a wise man once said: make new friends, but keep the old—one is silver and the other’s gold.

makingfriendconnection.com

How To Get Along With Others By Handling Arguments Well

Sometimes, when you get to know someone long enough, you tend to notice things about them that you don’t like. Sometimes you might get into arguments with people. If you really want to get to know someone well enough, you will inevitably run into disagreements with one another.

This article will teach you how to deal with them because handling arguments is part and parcel of life. If you don’t have arguments, you probably don’t have any close friends to begin with.

Of course, there is another group of people who argue for the sake of arguing and you don’t want to get into a fight with these people.

Here are the three reasons why people argue (or are argumentative in general)…

They are feeling frustrated and argumentative so they go around looking to pick a fight. They are people who are the fighters. They get a kick out of arguing with other people and it is pointless to argue with them in the first place!

The second group of argumentative people is the attention seekers. They lack attention and they feel that the only way they can get the attention they need is to argue with someone. You mustn’t argue with these people either because they will keep coming back for more or because it isn’t good for them (as they use these kinds of arguments to get attention.)

The last group is people who like to change things. They hate the way things are and they want to go all out and change the things around them so they argue until something happens!

The worst thing that can happen is getting sucked into these kind of arguments and trying to WIN them when the battle is already ‘lost’ from the beginning of it. General Abrams once quoted, “Never get in fights with pigs – you get all dirty and they enjoy it!”

So how do we handle these ‘pigs’? By avoiding the argument in the first place! This is one of the most effective ways to save a friendship.

Once again, it’s not about winning on an intellectual level. If you cannot touch the subconscious mind and insist on using ‘brute force’, you will only lose the battle, but other party is of the same opinion still!

Don’t try and prove the other party wrong. In fact, sometimes it is better to permit them to have their own opinion. As a matter of fact, once they cool down, they might even come up to you with an apology!

At the end of the day, try not to win the argument. Let THEM win the argument because winning it only results in you digging two graves.

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