Aggressive, Passive and Assertive

What is the secret to getting along with others? Have you ever wondered why different people seem to react differently when faced with a situation where they want something or when people want something from them.

There are three types of people in the world.

The first type is the aggressive type, the second is the passive type and the third type is the assertive type.

The aggressive type is the type of person who seldom reasons objectively with you. You either do things their way or you are getting in their way. This often leads to aggressive people throwing tantrums or using emotional blackmail to get what they want. Unlike assertive people, these guys act in a manner that is totally contrary to assertive behavior.

The passive type on the other hand might ask meekly for something. People might even take advantage on these passive types and they usually comply out of obligation… until they can take it no longer and erupt (and you don’t want to be around them when they erupt – they could be worse than the aggressive type!)

And finally there is the assertive type. Being assertive is getting what you want without acting like a brute or being passive about it.

One of the ways to increase our happiness factor in our lives is to get along with other people. And one of the unavoidable things we must face is to deal with aggressive and pushy people that will try and take advantage of you or to avoid BEING an aggressive and pushy person. So how do we get what we want?

In life, there is a very clear distinction between being aggressive and being assertive.

As you can see, the key to happiness in any relationship is not to act like a barbarian when you want something and neither is about acting like a doormat and let people take advantage of you (these types of people usually explode in the end and things will get ugly).

If you want to find the perfect balance, then being assertive is the way.

You don’t have to be an aggressive person because being assertive is more about being firm about what needs to be done and communicating in such a way that people would feel the reason behind it rather than being put off by the behavior.

If you want to get what you want out of a relationship or a friendship, it is pointless to throw a tantrum or resort to death threats and emotional blackmail. You need to tap into their subconscious mind before they are ready to comply.

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The Secret To Finding True Friends

In life, true friendship often eludes us. We look around and wonder what the heck is wrong with all the superficial people around us. Sometimes, we feel as though we want to throw a punch through the masks they wear because we are so frustrated by the lack of true friendship in our lives!

In order to find true friendship, we must understand people. Firstly, there is no such thing as a free lunch in this world. It doesn’t matter if you are daddy’s little girl or if you are talking with your best friend or working things out with your spouse…

The fact of the matter is that human beings are inherently selfish! They won’t do anything without motivation. Most of the time, they are either motivated by fear of loss or for the benefits of gain.

Most of the time, the fear of loss or pain is what motivates people to take action (which explains why people only seek to patch up friendships and relationships when things are breaking apart instead of giving them due ‘maintenance’ like a car).

But if you were to factor in this fact into our personality, we usually have the tendency to feel that we are always right and everyone else is wrong.

I’m not talking about facts and figures (like who gets the highest score in Jeopardy); I’m referring to the moral values refracted through the lens of our eyes and our moral perceptions.

Many a times, people tend to see our faults clearly while we are all oblivious to our many idiosyncrasies and selfish behaviors.

There are some who would even go to the extreme and feel that the world would be a perfect place when the all the people around him would CHANGE THEIR STINKING ATTITUDE, and then the world would be a better place.

Alas, history has proven time and time again that an attempt to change the world around us would be futile unless we learn to change ourselves first.

There is a saying in the Bible that goes something like this: Why do you notice the speck in your brother’s eye, but you fail to see the PLANK that is in your OWN eye? Remove the plank in your own eye, and then you will be able to see clearly (sometimes, the speck in your brother’s eye might not even exist at all!)

At the end of the day, if you find that you can’t stand all the people around you, then you should ask yourself this very important question… am I the one making life insufferable for them? Get right with yourself and the world around you and you will find that the problem is not with them… but with us!

http://makingfriendconnection.com